The Long Farewell
by broken mind
Summary: Lancelot once made a promise which he knew he could never keep...please read and review!


**The long farewell**

(King Arthur)

_ Long Ago, your name a shadow, in my dreams the white brave still searching. _

_Raining Winds fall apart, I believe your heart _

"Don't be afraid. I will return." He said, his voice hoarse and ragged. Those were the last words Vea ever heard Lancelot say. She had raised his hand to wave him goodbye while the others cried out their call. She did not join them, she merely stood among her people. She spotted the other Sarmatian boys on their horses, some of the sturdy creatures too tall for them, but they sat on their backs as if they were born there. When Lancelot rode away and turned one last time, he saw the sadness in Vea's eyes. 15 years…15 years were such a long time and there was no assurance that they would return. Yet he had promised his sister. She was only 4 years old, six years younger than Lancelot himself. He dug his heels into his black horse's flanks and joined in the ranks of Roman soldiers and Sarmatians. One of the officers got a good hold on the reins and led the horse away. They moved slowly across the ridge of the valley until the village was out of sight. Lancelot thought he heard the faint laughter of his beloved sister in the air around him, but when he looked around, he found that he was all alone now.

_Tell me now what you see. _

_Tell me what you feel__ now you're here. _

_Tell me now__ what you know, never let me go. _

_Tell me now__ what you see _

"Don't be afraid. I will return." These words still rang in his ears. He still saw the tiny face of Vea in the vision before his eyes and his hands clutched around the rabbit's claw.

The Roman officers that had come to lead him to the outpost of Hadrian's wall did not talk to the children, but the children themselves began to form some kind of friendship among them. Tristan, the wild falcon who came from the northlands of Sarmatia, Gawain and Galahad who came from the western midlands. Bors and Dagonet, the two brothers in arms, who had lived with their families in the east and Lancelot himself who had come from the south of their beautiful homelands. There were more, but many died on the long journey to Hadrian's Wall and many more would die during the next 15 years. But they all shared the same fate, the same hopes, the same fears. And when they met with Arthur Castus, their soon-to-be leader, son of a Celtic woman and a Roman officer, their bond grew stronger. They were dependent on each other and they trusted their lives in each other's hands. They were supposed to fight for a country not their own and they knew that there were no guarantees for a safe return, even at that young age. They were not even men yet, but maturity was required from them. Their life, such a sacrifice, was required from them.

_Who cries from the hill, the mist creeps from your eyes. _

_Your banner will promise_

_Let's remember the start__, I believe your heart _

"Don't be afraid. I will return." The words followed him even into the empty plane of his waking dreams. He knew even then that he would never be able to make true his promise he had given to his sister and he knew that he would never see Vea again. His heart ached but the task at hand required every possible sense and thought he could spare. Lancelot often thought about their task, about their duty to Rome, if it ever was a duty. It had been an unfair contract that their forefathers had committed themselves to. Trading their own survival for their fighting sons to secure the Roman outpost here in Iona (1). Who did these Romans thought they were? The Roman Empire stretched from far away Arabia to Iona in these days. They had come here and claimed lordship over these lands, they had build Hadrian's Wall in Northumbria 300 ears ago to keep the Picts and Celts at bay. The Woads, an aggressive tribe of Celtic origin, killed everyone north of the wall. Arthur and his knights were the only defence. And they were spent - left there to defend the farthest outpost, left there to die. They fought bravely, fought until their deaths, fought for their lives, fought to survive another day. Each morning when they saw the light of the rising sun falling through the leaves they thanked the Lord for having heard the prayers they had spoken at nightfall before. Prayers were all they had.

_Tell me now what you know, never let me go. _

_Tell me what__ you see. _

_Tell me what you feel__ now you're here. _

"Don't be afraid. I will return." His eyes burnt with unwept tears, his heart ached with promises unkept. His life fled his dying body, his thoughts drained his head. Everything fell away now, the pain, the worries, the anger, the sorrow. But one thing in his heart remained - the broken promise to Vea. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes when the fading sunlight came breaking through the mists. His hands and legs went numb, his lips froze. Lancelot knew that he was dying, that he might already be dead. In the reflection of sunlight on the wet grass beside him he could see the pale face of his beloved sister until a shadow glazed his eyes that he could not see anymore.

_ Tell me now what you know._

_Never let me go_

_T__ell me now what you see (2) _

Explanations:

Iona was the original Celtic/native name of the British Isles before the Romans brought Latin as the language of Christianization in 563. Since the events in King Arthur took place before that date, I will go by the diachronically related names, although I will neglect the dates given in the movie. The true date of the coming of the Anglo-Saxons was in 479. The movie gives the date as 452.

Lyrics by Hans Zimmer/Moya Brennan for the Motion Picture King Arthur, performed by Moya Brennan


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